50 Comments

  1. Pets– we recognize that there is a time we spend together and we make that time joyful and intimate. If we didn't have them in our homes and lives, they might not have had a life as good as we gave them. We made their lives special as much as they made ours special. This isn't hyperbole. When we look at our pets, we can know this. All they ask of us is to love them, and we do. I know not everyone believes in God, but I think when we care for our pets, the Creator is happy– we stewarded His creation well. That is the gift and honoring of that gift 💗

  2. Thank you also for being a kind and understanding pet parent. When you talked about your older cat at the end, I was glad that you understand when pets have accidents like throwing up etc. and you treat them with kindness. Reminded me that what bothers me is people who get mad at their pets and are mean to them for things like that. Those people I don’t understand and I don’t like them! People who deliberately cause animal suffering are evil.

  3. Whenever Dr Honda talks about pet grief, it’s like he totally describes my emotions about it better than I can. Thank you for putting it into words. It is the hardest thing to make that decision to let your cat go, the worst! It’s something that gets better with time but I will never ever forget. Every sad thing I experience or even read about , hear about or watch is something that is always on my mind and I will think of occasionally. Veterinarians seem to have improved overall in how they deal with pets at the end of their lives. There are still a few that still seem to encourage euthanasia before other options, but I’m glad that more of them are providing pet guardians with hospice options instead of immediate euthanasia. I do agree that they are usually right but I have also experienced times when the vet was pushing euthanasia but my cat ended up rebounding for months or years. It is SO hard to make the call to do it at the right time. I would never want to prolong my cats suffering for no reason either. Thanks again Dr Honda💙

  4. I appreciate your taking the time for this type of content even tho the 90 day fiance react type of videos seemingly get a lot more views. I can't handle those types of shows so thanks for the variety.

  5. Just finished listening to this episode and the pet grief part really got to me. The first ever dog I had (she was a small dog) was attacked by two big dogs that were of a friend of mine. I was ten at the time and was with my mom when the attack happened. My friend and her parents were also there but nobody really did anything but scream. It was awful. My dog died later that day because of her injuries. I still remember all of it. My dog was just five years old at the time and it was a very traumatic experience for me. My heart goes out to everyone who’s had similar experiences, you’re not alone❤️pet grief is no joke at all

  6. I can really relate with the school anxiety email. I had a ton of anxiety related around school. Even after graduating college I still feel the remaining anxiety consistently. I have an understanding as to why I have anxiety related to school due to some negative experiences in school as a child. I did my capstone research on this topic.

  7. Re: Schizophrenia and Violence….My cousin was actually murdered by his roommate who had schizophrenia and wasn’t on his meds. He had access to help with his mental illness, but chose not to use it. His family owned the house and my cousin was renting a room there. Our family understood that the roommate was having a major episode and that violence isn’t “normal” for someone with schizophrenia. My cousin’s parents worked with the DA and didn’t want the death penalty, but rather wanted the roommate to get psychiatric help while in prison. He ended up getting a deal with the DA that put him in the prison hospital to get stabilized. He’s currently still in prison and I think his 1st parole hearing is in a couple years.

  8. James T. Kirk?… 🙂 But seriously – In the world Today,ALL the attention goes to nutcases/murderer's/rapist's,etc & NO attention is Focused on people's BRAIN Health Problems (& getting them cured),such as Alzheimer's/Senile Dementia,etc,etc!!… 🙁

  9. Can’t imagine losing our dog ❤️❤️❤️ It will suck. She is a funny little bichion havanaise of 13 years old that unfortunateIy has cushings syndrome. I tell myself she Will live forever anyway ❤️

  10. The last part of this episode was very emotional, but cathartic for me. Two of my rats suddenly died just a week apart over the holidays. I've been feeling a little numb over it, but knowing I have sadness I'm just not able to feel about it. This episode helped me tap into that sadness. Sometimes it's hard because people think you don't get attached because they are only rats and they don't live that long, but to me they are my whole world. It felt good to have collective grief over our animal friends we've lost.

    Also, Simon's coworker can go fuck themselves!

  11. a great episode!! i related so much it will be a year in february that i had to put my american bulldog, Sammy, to sleep also because of fluid in lungs and abdomen. he was my baby and protector and was fine til he wasn’t, 3 days of symptoms and took him in, i was told the same thing and was shocked. i am going to listen to the pet grief podcast when i’m alone haha. thank you for all that u do!! 🥲♥️♥️♥️

  12. Kirk's messages to the disciplinary committee and to Simon's colleague were just PRICELESS. Also, there are not enough songs about grieving for animals. I was working on one but it's hard while bawling.

  13. I am suffering from the loss of my little R in May. He was my most precious little boy, he was different from all of my other cats (yes, I have 7) but he was like my child. I can’t explain our relationship. but he suddenly took sick, he was only 9 and we thought it was because his teeth cleaning had been delayed but it turns out he was in kidney failure. We rushed him to the emergency hospital and they kept him over night and then the next night, asked me to rush him to the vet college where they decided to operate and they did a kidney bypass which seemed to work. Except the next day the bypass developed a blockage and they had to take him back into surgery but though the surgery worked, he aspirated and developed pneumonia and sepsis. I can’t go a day without thinking how I failed him. It was during corona and they refused to let me see him or talk to him. He was completely bonded to me and he refused to eat , they wouldn’t listen and I know he died thinking I had abandoned him. The last time he heard me was right before they intubated him, he searched around for me and we were on Facetime and he was so scared. He thought I had left him with them to die so he didn’t fight to survive. I hate myself for letting this happen. They lied and said they would play my voice for him but they never did. They wouldn’t give him my tshirt so he could smell me and be comforted. His terrified face haunts me. It was exactly 6mons ago right now, almost to the minute that I last held him on the way to the college, that I last kissed him on his nose and told him I would see him again. And they never let me, I broke the most important promise I made to be with him at the end, and now he is gone. He was alone without me to keep him safe and give him comfort. My heart still physically hurts for him and I can never forgive myself for not fighting to be with him. I know he would have survived if he knew I was here waiting for him, holding the phone next to me every second waiting for news on his progress. It will be exactly 6mons tomorrow at 750pm that they let him go and at 10pm was the last time I held his little lifeless body.

  14. Stacy & Dr. Kirk: have you tried Slippery Elm for your cat? It's very effective with stomach problems in cats as the elm soothes the upset stomach and protects it from irritation. Must be the Slippery Elm Bark, though, not regular elm!
    Please try it if you haven't already, you can also use it yourselves. I've had many cats benefit greatly from that! ❤️

  15. I am bawling. I have not processed the grief of losing my cat very well at all. I am in therapy. I am discussing violent traumas. I still can't bring myself to dig into this wound. Thank you so much for your validation.

  16. Anxiety and grieving pets is unfortunately something I’m very familiar with. You think you’re the only one but you’re definitely not alone. It’s helpful to talk to others to see how they’ve coped with it. There’s support groups for pet grief as well. Hope the listeners that emailed get some relief.

  17. God I just gave my cats the biggest hug possible listening to this 🙁 I love them so much, the idea of losing them is unbearable. Sending everyone who is grieving a pet so much love ❤

  18. Putting my dog down was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I also cried like I had never cried, just absolute heart ache. I'm now in social work and I want to do veterinary social work helping people through this process and to help vet staff through their grief.

    Ugh… just sitting at my desk at work sobbing… ugh. Its the worst.

  19. Your rant at the end about pets and the situation with the person at work was very gratifying. I appreciated your anger! Because I was yelling the same thing at my phone while I was listening to the story.

  20. I had to put down my 18 year old cat yesterday. I’ve had her since I was 20 years old. I don’t recognize my life without her. What really shocked me was how my 3 year old reacted. Total hysterics yesterday and today has totally bounced back. Kids are so resilient.

  21. The person who lost their chihuahua. I'm sorry that is so sad. My heart breaks for you. Accident happen and that sucks. I've worked with animals my whole life and its tough. I told my son when we got his first pet that pets don't live as long as us and that is because we are to take care of and love lots of animals in our life. Sorry that your chihuahua only had small amount of time with you. And the coworker is a real jerk face. Go easy on yourself.

  22. I had to recently euthanise one of my two cats. We adopted him three years ago, he lived happily with my mom and the other cat but in the last few weeks he developped an issue in his mouth and over two weeks (during which we tried treating him with antibiotics, after two vet visits) he lost nearly half his weight because he wouldn't eat anymore. We learned he was above 11-12 years old and that it could be the symptom of more serious issues than just a mouth problem. During the days we hoped the meds would help but we didn't see any improvement, I was so discouraged and sad. Couldn't decide what to eat for dinner and cried so much in the anticipation of having to put him down.
    He was completely lethargic on the last day, on which my mom made the appointment for the euthanesia. We concluded he suffered a lot and with little to no chance of getting better. We were both very affected.
    The vet and his assistant were incredibly gentle with me as I accompanied the cat to get the shots, they were really humane and I'm grateful for that. Afterwards they left me with his body for all the time I needed to grieve and to be frank, after two minutes I knew he and his personnality had exited the body and that we made the right choice for that situation.

    Pet death sucks. Be gentle and patient with yourself, cry all you have/want to.
    "Our Cat Goes To Heaven" by Margaret Atwood is a cute story that can help put a little light in that situation but as with every painful event you mostly got to give yourself time and don't over-doubt everything, because some answers just will never appear solidly before you.

    All my love and support to that patreon !

  23. As a person who has had animals put to sleep as well as let them die on their own as well as someone who has euthanized animals. It is always awful just know that. Unfortunately with our pets when they are finally showing that they are sick they are VERY sick. Due to the nature of animals they do not show sickness. This is because their nature is to not show weakness if the animal does they fall prey to another animal. Euthanasia is awful. You did the right thing. It is also awful to watch animals die. It is awful to have them die unexpectedly. Having pets die is awful. Try not to beat yourself up. The vet cares and knows. I'm just sorry. Euthanasia is done out of kindness remember that.

  24. The pet grief part made me cry a lot hearing Dr Honda’s story. I have 3 cats now and I’m 22, but have never experienced pet loss. I really don’t want to go through it. It’s a terrible dichotomy of loving animals so much but being so scared to one day lose them

  25. Great 👍🏽 podcast valuable topics here to talk about, the pet thing aughhhh… my chihuahua is a senior and it sucks because like you said pets do not live long and it hurts when they leave us 🖤
    I have fear of grief with my pets and most of all my family members. I’m not scared of death but I don’t want to feel the pain of anyone I love pass away on me. I don’t want to feel the pain, I sometimes fantasize the grief in order to like prepare to feel less pain if and when it were to occur. It’s weird but humans do weird things smh 🤦‍♀️

  26. That first question reminds me of an ex long ago. He constantly accused me of cheating when all I ever did was work and read books, and I was beginning to come to terms with my asexuality so I didn’t have the libido most do. The accusations of cheating became so ridiculous and I got tired of trying to assure him I am faithful when I had nothing to prove. Plus I am avoidant attached, I would just shut down. Eventually I did leave him. I couldn’t really understand it at the time but his attachment style now makes sense. Sadly the constant accusations did manifest his fear of loss, but in time he did get married. I hope he found some peace.

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